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What Is Your Political Persona?

By: Yaël Ossowski - @YaelOss - May 20, 2014, 4:57 am

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1.

Money is a man’s best friend. After you have finished worshipping your handbuilt shrine of dimes and quarters and have put the hippies in a dark cave where they belong, you realize that the state definitely should not interfere in private life – unless people have the wrong values of course!

2.

You’re a regular Ron Swanson! You morally oppose government intervention and are convinced that market forces create the best outcomes by maximizing economic and personal freedom. Who will build the roads? You will!

3.

You dirty pragmatist, you. Economic growth is your primary concern so you ascribe to Deng Xiaoping’s maxim: It doesn’t matter whether a cat is white or black, as long as it catches mice.

4.

Markets got you out of deep trouble and allow you to pay your generals big pensions – Just be aware that your growing middle class might also get interested in political liberties.

5.

Money makes the world go round! In the words of Tom Haverford, “Love…Love fades away. But things…things are forever.” You see limits in how individuals should be and you think that government has a moral authority.

6.

You truly believe in personal freedom and want to go your own way. While living in your hippie commune you don’t find time to think about concepts such as property or the price mechanism. You’re too busy weaving alpaca blankets, singing Kumbaya, and ignoring the impending famine.

7.

Personal freedom flourishes best when politicians take the earnings of the rich and assemble them like IKEA furniture for the needy – let’s hope that no screws are missing!

8.

Busy guy! Between controlling the economy, testing your nukes, and mass executions you barely find time to enjoy your total power – Treat yo’ self to a haircut!

9.

You believe in economic and social liberty to a high degree but you also might support a minimal state for justice and defense. Grab your copy of Atlas Shrugged and read it for a fifth time…

10.

Trade made you rich and you love commerce – Personal liberties don’t add up on your balance sheet and thus aren’t accounted for.

11.

You know the phrase, “you are your own worst enemy?” It’s true of everyone but you. You alone know what’s best for people. You are on a crusade to drive the market for raw milk underground— all the way to hell where it belongs! Next up will be replacing e-cigarettes with…wait a second, what is more harmless than water vapor? Not to worry, if anyone can find it, it’s you!

12.

Well done: Your assets exceed your country’s GDP – Your cronies in government mandate the success of your industries and legislate market shares for you. If you aren’t an oligarch…better luck next lifetime!

13.

Equality and loyalty to the socialist cause are some of your most important values. On the one hand, you think the collective should always be prioritized above the individual. On the other, you are the first to mobilize to protect entitlements. So which is it: “Ask not what your country can do for you” or “demand what your country can do for you”? In Soviet Russia, irrational argument choose you!

14.

You think markets are important but you clearly prioritize social issues either because you think that people should come before capital, or because you are a libertine who values the sacred right to shoot heroin and have kinky sex with anyone you want (or at least, anyone who will have you – let’s not forget you are a libertarian of sorts).

15.

Equality and loyalty to the socialist cause are some of your most important values. On the one hand, you think the collective should always be prioritized above the individual. On the other, you are the first to mobilize to protect entitlements. So which is it: “Ask not what your country can do for you” or “demand what your country can do for you”? In Soviet Russia, irrational argument choose you!

16.

Ideology is an unnecessary bother to you – Have you registered for the primaries? Frank Underwood would be delighted to take you under his wing.

17.

You support redistribution on the grounds that it helps the poor. – Especially if it has to be paid for by your grandchildren. Damn kids need to stop asking for Christmas presents- when will they learn that gifts and inheritances are evil?

Want to find out your political persona? Take the test on politicalquiz.org today!

Yaël Ossowski Yaël Ossowski

Yaël Ossowski is a journalist, informational entrepreneur, and Senior Development Officer for Students For Liberty. Born in Québec and raised in the southern United States, he currently lives in Vienna, Austria. Follow @YaelOss and on his website Yael.ca. Read his featured PanAm Post column, "Question the Narrative."